it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
