wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
