Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
