is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
How naked do you want me to be?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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