My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
