Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So. Much. Porn.
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