did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
