Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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