I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
