you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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