I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
