I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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