Where is the hickey?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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