If that was your dad, he is hot
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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