you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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