Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
