just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize