Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
