well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she smelled like a LAN party
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
