yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize