That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
