if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
