If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i barfeds in our rink
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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