she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
