I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Hippo gnu deer
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
