What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
