Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
