never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
