i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
