I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
