I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
