She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
