im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Dear god my vagina.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
