I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
should my penis look like a turkey
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
