he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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