Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
