someone owes me an orgasm
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
