Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
