Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
