I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
