whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
