how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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