Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize