sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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