whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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