I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We're like a lot better than the average bears
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
