So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
