the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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