If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
