Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
