You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Randomize
