i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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