sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
do nipples grow back?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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