definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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