yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
