we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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