I just saw a hot homeless man
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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