Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
